5/22/2012 ~ My firstborn child, Caleb, is preparing to go to college this fall. Graduation is right around the corner, after prom and finals and AP exams and all the other small tasks and checklist items that make up a senior year in high school.
As I graduated from high school, way back when, I was beyond ready to be on my own and left for college without looking back. But now I’m experiencing the other side of the send-off as I watch and help him prepare to take that leap.
Earlier this year, in a burst of irritation and insight I recognized the sanity of a mother bird pushing her fledglings out of the nest, and I felt ready for my oldest to also fly on his own, yet I can’t help but wonder if I’ve taught him enough? Is he prepared to thrive in the world? I think so. I hope so. I guess we’ll find out.
When I found out that I was expecting a boy my first thought was ‘What do I do with a boy?’ But I fell in love with him before he was even born, and even more so as I got to know him. The memories from years ago seem as current as today, and I’ve been pondering them in my heart as graduation nears. From the naps that we shared on the couch while I cradled him on my chest (the only way he would nap so I could too), to Cave Boy, the first book he read on his own as we lay across my bed one afternoon.
Teaching him to make pizza, tie a tie, drive a car, cheering him on in school plays, piano performances, fencing, scout awards, traveling, moving too many times, debating the merits (or not) of homework, working together on school projects, science fairs and essays, sharing favorite books and movies and delighting in the person that he has always been are snapshots our life together so far. For me these recollections are precious and taking the time to remember and honor them, and him, fills my heart with gratitude that I have been able to have any small part of raising such an excellent young man. As I watch him grow out of his need for me with bittersweet satisfaction, the answer to the question I first asked, ‘What do I do with a boy?’ is so obviously ‘Love him!’
