Ether 12:23 And I said unto him: Lord, the Gentiles will mock at these things, because of our weakness in writing…
25 …and I fear lest the Gentiles shall mock at our words.
26 And when I had said this, the Lord spake unto me, saying: Fools mock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness;
27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
This scripture has been prominent in my mind this week as I have studied the Book of Mormon.
For a while I’ve been thinking about dating and my hope for an eternal companion. It has been 7 years since my divorce and although I have gone on some dates with some wonderful men I have felt a block or resistance within my heart. I’ve questioned myself… Am I too prideful? Am I too wounded? Am I too picky? Am I in the wrong place? Is it just not the right time? Did I have my chance and blow it?
My patriarchal blessing counsels me to: choose judiciously when dating and lately I’ve pondered more about what that means. Judicious means to use good judgement, which a skill gained, like any other, through the learning process, often, in my case, by failures. What mistakes have I made? Plenty! Choosing to walk away from a man I loved because of mis-communication? Check. Choosing to ignore red flags and tolerate unkindness and emotional abuse? Indeed. Falling in love with an unavailable man? Been there, done that. Getting set up on a blind date then panicking and cancelling? That’s me. Trying to convince myself to not date out of fear of making a poor choice? Working on it.
So what does that have to do with weakness? As I have been pondering this scripture this week a new thought came to me which I take as personal revelation. This part stood out to me in bold… God’s grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness.
Why does this matter? Because over the years I have been mocked, criticized, made fun of and looked down on for just about everything about me and it hurts. I must admit that when it comes to online dating I have also done my fair share of mocking. All in good fun right? Perhaps not. Perhaps mocking is a way to cover up our own insecurities, to try and make ourselves feel better without really changing the underlying problem. And this is where this scripture is starting to change my heart.
Here a prophet of God is worried what other people will think about his efforts. He is doing the best he can in a horrible situation. He has lost all his family and friends and is being hunted for believing in Jesus Christ. The things he was writing would only be seen by us, here, today. So why was this important for him to write those many years ago? For me it is personal and two-fold.
First, if I am meek and have God’s grace I will not take advantage of the weakness of others. Everyone has weaknesses… health challenges, poor judgement, an aging body, losing hair, gaining girth, quirky personality traits, mistakes from the past, not as attractive as when we were younger, human frailty and more. We are all imperfect and that is part of being human. Political and pandemic opinions also differ widely and conflict and fear and mental health challenges have branded 2020 as a difficult year for everyone. We have seen many examples of how easy it is to take advantage of others whether through business opportunities, personal relationships or leadership influence. So this is a reminder for me to check myself when interacting with others and when pondering dating opportunities, as scarce as they may be during a pandemic. Do I need to have more mercy? Am I being meek? Am I being sufficiently patient with myself and others?
Second, and this is a new thought to me, I can use this to learn to choose more judiciously when dating. How? By paying attention to how they treat me, because men who have sought God’s grace will not take advantage of my weakness. Why does this seem so revolutionary to me? Because I am fully aware that I have weaknesses since they have been harshly used against me in the past. Honestly I have been fearful of making mistakes and moving forward. Dating is a risk and frankly I’ve panicked on more than one occasion with the prospect of exposing my weakness. But if I want to gain all that our Heavenly Father has and is, I have to overcome my fears about being mocked, humble myself and have faith that by trusting in God and doing the best I can with my situation that good men will not take advantage of my weakness. This is a humbling realization for sure, yet I trust that God will make my weakness become strong in his own time and way.
So yes, it feels like a risk to put these ideas out there and yet that is what I feel guided to do. I can relate to Moroni’s fear of his words being mocked but hopefully this will remind me and you to be kind when interacting with other weak humans and encourage us to turn to God to seek his grace.
